On the wagon

Finishing up my 6th day on the wagaon.

right now life FUCKING SUCKS ass.

got into probably the most vocal argumentative phone call every with my wife. which didn't lead to any good at all. I called with good intent and she rightfully is full of resentment torwards me so it's obvious I cannot have a conversation with her without her feeling sick to her stomach that she married such an asshole and has spent so much of her life with him.

So i'm 6 days from sipping the bottle, throwing back a few beers, whatever the case may be, more importantly i'm 6 days closer to insanity.

I have jobs to do now, outside of my regular paid work and apartment life.

make phone calls read literature, this shit is real and the people are awesome but I'm scared and lonely.


God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as though wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I ma better do they will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of They Power, They Love, and They Way of life. May I do Thy will Always!